Either this wallpaper goes, or I do. - Oscar Wilde
#30DaysofYoga, Day 16. I’ve made it past the halfway mark.
Okay, so I’ve only been to thirteen classes in those sixteen days, which isn’t technically halfway to my goal of going every day for thirty days, but it’s much farther than I thought I’d come. Not that I have a will power problem, or anything; once I’ve made a decision to do something I see it through more often then not. Routine is key in my existence, and so far it’s been doing wonders for helping me reach new heights.
In just over two weeks I feel immensely different then when I started. I purposefully didn’t weigh myself at the beginning because this project wasn’t about losing weight, or even about me feeling better physically. Although I do notice the obvious physical differences (muscle tone, amazing core strength, better strength in my arms and shoulders, better posture), that come with regular yoga practice, the change in my emotional and psychological well-being has been much more profound. I wasn’t expecting it to hit me the way it has, because exercise has always been a weight loss thing for me. I’m surprised and delighted that it’s taken this turn.
I’m finding myself to be calmer. No, I’m not kidding. Me, the girl with the endless energy and enthusiasm for everything life throws at her has become more calm than ever. I find myself relaxing into my poses and enjoying them more, when in the past I would have fought them with every fibre of my teeth-grinding being. My stress level has gone down (not disappeared. Come on, like anybody can ever have a stress-free life) which has helped me, especially at work, to remain calm in times of ambiguity or when that one customer who’s never happy with anything I do walks through the doors. Life’s too short to worry about how he’ll react when his wet cappuccino isn’t wet enough.
Hell, I even drive slower. Yes, Kathleen. I do.
I’ve been tested this week as feelings from pasts ghosts rose to the surface, and I took a half step backwards. I allowed rage to creep in and take over my day, and by the end of it all I wanted to do was punch something. Instead I breathed. As hokey as it may sound to you non-yoga people, I remembered the centering breath I had found in session earlier in the day and returned to it, and I let the rage go. It fucking works, people. To paraphrase Chris (@traveldiaries) from tonight’s Yin Lounge at YYoga, yoga that you don’t take to the rest of your life isn’t yoga. The yoga that you do for one hour should effect the other twenty-three. It clicked in my mind that I had done that, and I was grateful to myself for doing something amazing for me. As I continue in my thirty day journey, I will bring that with me.
I’d like to say how grateful I am to the people who have cheered me on, either by going with me to class, leading the classes I attend, or just offering your support from afar. Without you I would have probably given up and remained a lazy blob watching Bachelor Pad on the couch with a big bowl of poutine saucisse.
Hold up, I still do that. I guess the difference now is that I don’t feel guilty about it.
And hey, go give @TheSassyFiles a follow! I found her at yoga tonight!